Hard Nose Truth by Example

I Nominate Sheriff Joe Arpaio for President of the United States

By ALBAN MEHLING I’d like to nominate Sheriff Joe Arpaio from Maripoca County Arizona for President of the United States. Sheriff Joe, as he is affectionately known, is a hard nosed lawman that gets things done. He is so well liked that he has been re-elected every election since he first took office. The last election Sheriff Joe received 85% of the vote.Sheriff Joe has many accomplishments to his legend. Sheriff Joe created a tent jail rather than spend county money’s on a new jail. The inmates are required to wear pink underwear and pink socks. Sheriff Joe has reduced his meal costs to $.40 per meal, and he charges the prisoners for the meals. Sheriff Joe created chain gangs to work on county projects. To avoid any discrimination suits he also created female chain gangs for the female prisoners. When the temps are over 100 degrees, as happens in Arizona, the prisoners are allowed to strip down to their pink underwear. If they complain that this is in humane treatment he remind them that the soldiers in Iraq live in a tent, wear full combat gear, it’s hotter there, and they didn’t commit any crimes. “If you don’t like it here, don’t come back.”

Sheriff Joe has eliminated coffee from the prisoners menu, it has no nutritional value. He tried to eliminate cable TV but found out there is a federal law that says he can’t do that. The TV in Sheriff Joe’s jail only plays the weather channel and the Disney Channel. When he was asked why the weather channel his reply was priceless… “I want them to know how hot it is before they go out on the chain gang.”

Sheriff Joe has a farm that was donated to the county. The prisoners plant and harvest all the fresh foods the eat by hand. They also raise hogs for the meat and the fertilizer for the plants and the live Christmas trees that they sell for $8-$10 and can be planted in your yard.

Recently the Maripoca County was spending $18million for stray cats and dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take over that department also. The prisoners now run the department at a cost of just over $3million to the county. The animals are walked twice a day by prisoners. The prisoners teach a class in animal care. The animals are neutered and vetted before they are adopted. Several have been taken to dog shows and won first place while still under a prisoners care.

Perhaps if Sheriff Joe Arpaio became our next President of the United States we could recapture some of our pride in this country. Perhaps our prison systems would wake up and make prison a punishment not Club Med.

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